Freedom City Examiner: Foursome Ground Superfly

Drug Lord Captured in Raid

By Garret Green

Notorious underworld figure Jimmy "The Superfly" Snuka and his right hand man Billy "Suckapunch" Drake were captured in a late night incursion that uncovered a sophisticated drug lab and evidence of slavery and torture.

Late last night, the unnamed superhero group made famous in the bungled robbery of the Eastern Seaboard Bank struck again. Pitch Black, Sigfried Nyffenegger, Thongolifah and the Viking attacked an abandoned warehouse that had been taken over by Superfly's gang. Also captured in the attack were several thugs and a number of underworld scientists, some of whom had prior mad-science convictions.

"Wicked villains cannot hide forever in scuzzy warehouses and dirty back-alleys," said Nyffenegger of the raid. "Once again, forces of evil have been vanquished."

According to Sergeant Bert Barton of the Freedom City Police Department, the group also freed several indigents who had been held in cages in the warehouse and showed signs of torture and forced drug testing. "This was one of the more horrific crime scenes we've seen in some time," said Barton. "We hope to get some long convictions out of this."

Also seized by police were caches of drugs and weapons estimated to be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, and some makeshift lab equipment used in the creation of drugs.

"The working men, when chafing under the yolk of their oppression, may turn to the perfidious comfort of drugs; those who attempt to profit at their expense will not be tolerated, " Thongolifah said regarding the drug labs.

"All for the glory of Valhalla," added the Viking.

After being turned over to police, Superfly suggested that the arresting officers had carnal knowledge of swine. He then attempted to escape, and had to be aggressively subdued by the police officers for a period of several minutes.

Several people freed during the raid are currently receiving medical attention for malnutrition, detoxification, and minor injuries.